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Sunday, April 6, 2008

"Toca's Miracle 2008" And The Boy Who Wouldn't Drop His Pants

Okay, I don't know what the F is up with "Toca's Miracle 2008," but it's #29 on the U.K. singles chart this week, and I feel pretty old.

In May 2000, I bought the "Toca's Miracle" CD single by Fragma. I was kind of seeing this boy who was a tad bit older -- also from Pennsylvania, and also transplanted to L.A. -- who had crystal blue eyes and was a Bhuddist. So, we hung out a lot, but he never wanted to make out. (??) I figured he must either have a major case of former Irish-Catholic guilt, or maybe he was secretly straight. Either way, totally classy.

So, finally, one night we went to dinner, and he came back to my place. My roommate at the time was out with her friend, and this guy and I went to my room, listened to music, then both passed out on my bed. We woke up at like one a.m., then just starting making out for about 10 seconds. That was it -- finally!

Suddenly, he's like, "I have to go!" and he jetted off. The next weekend, we decided to go for this big bike ride from Venice Beach, where he lived, down to Manhattan Beach. He was huffing and acting irritated because I couldn't pedal my bike as fast as him, and he kept having to stop while I caught up.

About 15 minutes into that shit, it hit me like a lightning bolt -- this guy sucked, and I was totally outta there. I put on the brakes, called him over to me, and when he finally rode up, I was like, "Uh, yeah, so this isn't gonna work." He was like, "I can ride slower," and I go, "No, you and me." It felt like a scene out of Felicity!

And, like a good TV show heroine, I'd totally learned a valuable lesson: that summer, I only dated guys who put out. And that's my "Toca's Miracle" story.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "American Boy" - Estelle Feat. Kanye West *3 weeks*
2. "Low" - Flo Rida Feat. T-Pain
3. "Always There Where I Need To Be" - The Kooks
4. "Black And Gold" - Sam Sparro
5. "Mercy" - Duffy
6. "Touch My Body" - Mariah Carey
7. "Better In Time/Footprints In The Sand" - Leona Lewis
8. "4 Minutes" - Madonna Feat. Justin Timberlake
9. "With You" - Chris Brown
10. "Rockstar" - Nickelback