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Thursday, June 5, 2008

Katy Perry: Three Minute Lesbian

Katy Perry let another broad finger her fish funnel, did a song about it and now it's a big hit, jumping to #5 this week on Billboard's Hot 100. Hoo-rizzy!

But perhaps the most surprising bit about Perry's "I Kissed The Girl" is not that it took four people to write this feminist anthem about drunk-tonguing some nameless ho in the back of a Scion, but that the four people are Katy herself, Max Martin, Dr. Luke and...Cathy Dennis!? Jesus, take the wheel!

Meanwhile, can Dr. Luke and Max Martin please come up with a new sound? Seriously! That faux "Rock And Roll, Pt. 1" beat has been used more times than Katy Perry's bimbo ditch at this point.

Meanwhile, Coldplay have now earned the biggest hit with "Viva La Vida," at #3 this week, which has now eclipsed the #8 peak of "Speed Of Sound" from three years ago. This would be great news, but, you know...it's Coldplay.

Chris Brown's "Forever" continues to rebound after finally gaining in airplay. It's up to #16 this week, and back at #5 on iTunes. To quote our Dark Satanic Lord George W. Bush, "You're doin' a heck of a job, Brownie."

On a final note, the Pussycat Dolls debut at #76 with "When I Grow Up." With one less stripper in the fold, how will these pussies hold up this second time around? Just thinking about it boggles the mind.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Lollipop" - Lil Wayne Feat. Static Major *4 weeks*
2. "Bleeding Love" - Leona Lewis
3. "Viva La Vida'" - Coldplay
4. "Take A Bow" - Rihanna *airplay gainer*
5. "I Kissed A Girl" - Katy Perry *sales gainer*
6. "Love In This Club" - Usher Feat. Young Jeezy
7. "No Air" - Jordin Sparks Duet With Chris Brown
8. "Sexy Can I" - Ray J & Young Berg
9. "The Time Of My Life" - David Cook
10. "4 Minutes" - Madonna Feat. Justin Timberlake