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Monday, January 11, 2010

Now That Lady Gaga Killed Off Madonna, Ke$ha's Here To Shove Them Both In A Meat Grinder

Last year bitches were hatin' hard when I called that Lady Gaga would reduce Madonna's last dying ember of relevance to a ground-up pile of slut dust. But those non-believing whorez can kiss my swagger, 'cause now Ke$ha's here to play beer pong with Madge's elbow sockets!

Billboard reported today that Ke$ha's Animal sold enough copies (150,000) to end Scottish sex machine Susan Boyle's six-week run at the top of the album chart. That might seem like a low number (well, okay, it is)—BUT, remember it was only a few years back when both the Dreamgirls and Juno soundtracks each topped the chart after selling something like 14 copies a piece. No, for real—I swear on Ke$ha's last bottle of Zima!

And now with the boozy broad locking down the #1 ("Blah Blah Blah"), #2 ("TiK ToK") and #10 ("Your Love Is My Drug") positions on iTunes—not to mention #32, #59, #102 and #154—I'm predicting Ke$ha is on track to become the most important artist since Bach.

Or at least she'll be the next Lady Gaga.