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Thursday, May 29, 2008

I Wouldn't Even F*** This Chart With David Archuleta's D***

Between the two of them, American Idol winner David Cook and runner-up David Archuleta see 14 songs debut on Billboard's Hot 100 this week, after being made available on iTunes...that's so decadently ghetto that I'm not sure what this underlines more: the overall popularity of Idol or the complete irrelevancy of the old-school pop chart in the era of the downloadable single.

Regardless, David Cook is the big winner all the way around -- "The Time Of My Life" is the Hot Shot Debut, at #3, after selling 236,000 downloads last week, and it leads three other tracks by him that land in the Top 40 alone. Alas, Baby Queen's highest position is #36, with his turgid, Z-grade cover of John Lennon's "Imagine." Gag.

It's also a classy week for Coldplay, whose single "Viva La Vida" jumps 31 positions to #10 after its inclusion in an Apple commercial. You see, that's the way they do it these days. Radio? Over. MTV? Who? To have a hit you just have to suck off Steve Jobs (Great technique, Chris Martin!) or bend over for Simon Cowell (Holla, Archuleta!).

The rest of it's a sack of horseshit, except for the fact that Chris Brown's "Forever" is finally seeing some love; it's this week's Airplay Gainer. But it still falls from #20 to #23. Like I said...horseshit.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Lollipop" - Lil Wayne Feat. Static Major *3 weeks*
2. "Bleeding Love" - Leona Lewis
3. "The Time Of My Life" - David Cook *hot shot debut*
4. "Take A Bow" - Rihanna
5. "No Air" - Jordin Sparks Duet With Chris Brown
6. "Love In This Club" - Usher Feat. Young Jeezy
7. "Sexy Can I" - Ray J & Young Berg
8. "4 Minutes" - Madonna Feat. Justin Timberlake
9. "Pocketful Of Sunshine" - Natasha Bedingfield
10. "Viva La Vida'" - Coldplay *sales gainer*

New Towleroad column up now!