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Monday, October 26, 2009

It's Time For A Miracle, Adam Lambert!

Well, after the premiere of Adam Lambert's "Time For Miracles" vid last week—which initially propelled the single to #9 on the iTunes daily downloads chart—the dirge has flizz-opped down to #49 a mere five days later.

Crikey! Has 2012 arrived already and rained down biblical doom upon poor Adam's pop career so soon? Maybe it's just God's will.

Look, it's not that I have anything against Adam. Though, after being told to "die in a fire you insufferable prick" and that "by not supporting Adam, you're a traitor to gays" by several Lamb-tards over the past few months, you'd think I ought to.

I just want the 17 people in charge of the American Idol runner-up's career this month to make better choices for him. After all you don't want him to end up dropped and rooming with Bo Bice in a Tarzana studio apartment, huffing Ajax all day while playing "Time For Miracles" on a continuous loop as the credit card companies keep calling endlessly to make Idol threats into the voicemail that's about to be disconnected—now do you?

The days of a huge blockbuster flick starring Kevin Costner Nicolas Cage Bruce Willis John Cusack producing a hit Diane Warren-esque ballad went down like Monica Lewinsky about 11 years ago.

Adam needs to go about etching out his hit-song career the tried-and-true way: By leaking a sex tape.