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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Like A Rash On An Old Stripper's Ass, Madonna And Whitney Houston Return To The Charts

This week sees the grand old broads of pop, Madonna and Whitney Houston, take a crack at pop chart hitdom a quarter century after they both slinked onto the scene.

In the case of Madge, she debuts at #71 on the Billboard Hot 100 with "Celebration," the title track from her upcoming third greatest hits collection. (And if you've not yet read the Madonna banterview that went up this week, what the F are you waiting for?)

At the moment, based on how "Celebration" has slid down the iTunes daily downloads chart like a rickety old hooker falling on her knees to gum junior's Twix bar, it would seem there's no hope of the single climbing any higher. But then again, we've yet to endure the arrival of the song's music video.

And then their Whitxxxey, who's "I Look To You" enters the Hot 100 at #74. I already gave a review of her upcoming album—which, kiddies, is only two-and-a-half weeks away from release—so I'm not extending my fingers by typing any more about this snooze-inducing trash track at this point.

This brings us to Kelly Clarkson's "Already Gone," which got a tad filleted by yours truly and the Pop Panel over at Pop Trash Addicts this week. After initially peaking at #70 awhile back, the supposed "Halo" knockoff re-enters the Hot 100 at #89.

But praise the almighty—or at least the Disney Channel—since next week could very well see the reign of the Black Eyed Peas end at the top of the chart once Miley Cyrus' surging sales for new single "Party In The U.S.A." are tallied up.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "I Gotta Feeling" - The Black Eyed Peas *7 weeks*
2. "You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
3. "Best I Ever Had" - Drake
4. "Knock You Down" - Keri Hilson feat. Kanye West & Ne-Yo
5. "Use Somebody" - Kings Of Leon
6. "Down" - Jay Sean feat. Lil Wayne
7. "Good Girls Go Bad" - Cobra Starship feat. Leighton Meester
8. "Fire Burning" - Sean Kingston
9. "Hotel Room Service" - Pitbull
10. "Boom Boom Pow" - The Black Eyed Peas