Cheers, then, to Matt Cardle, who trumped all others in the series tonight. He was mentored by Dannii Minogue, who last saw a winner the whole way through back in 2007, when Leon Jackson triumphed—and, well, we know how well that turned out in the end.
Anyway, Matt—who I wouldn't fuck with a vacuum hose—will have his cover of Biffy Clyro's "Many Of Horror" out there this week in the UK as his winner's song. Jesus. That's like Satan wishing the entire country with a pitchfork up the ass. Have fun with that.