So last year it was down to Chris Brown's "Forever" and Rihanna's "Take A Bow" for the top pop single of 2008, and we went with fine upstanding gentleman and role model Brown. Sigh.Ah, well. as 2009 comes to a close, so does this decade. Chart Rigger's trusty sidekick Moogaboo and I already counted down the 40 Best Pop Singles Of The '00s last month. And yesterday we brought you the 10 Worst Singles Of 2009. Now it's time to round up the noteworthy jams that provided a few bright spots in an otherwise lackluster year when Taylor Swift, the Black Eyed Peas and Susan Boyle were considered hot commodities.
10. Owl City, "Fireflies" (U.S. #1, DEN #1, CAN #2)
Moogaboo says: "This twee bastard won me over the first time I heard him and, y'now what? Whatever. I'd do him on his messy bed covered with laptops and Casios and other crap."D'luv says: "Who cares if Owl City ends up being the White Town of the '00s? I mean, 'Your Woman' is still a total jam!"
9. Miley Cyrus, "Party In The U.S.A." (U.S. #2, CAN #3, AUS #6)
D'luv says: "America has a new horse-toothed diva to add to its songbook. They should make kids in school across the nation chant this while they tear out pages of the Bible to make paper airplanes each morning."Moogaboo says: "There's a synth sound in the chorus that kind of goes "ZIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" that makes me lightheaded (in the best way) everytime I hear it. "
8. Shakira, "She Wolf" (SPAIN #2, U.K. #4, U.S. #11)
Moogaboo says: "Leotards? Check. Swoopy strings? Check. Number one on any and all charts? No, and for that I lament modern life as a whole."D'luv says: "That guy from the Bravery co-wrote this. Yeah, he shoulda just gone straight into the 'writing songs for Shakira' business from the get-go."
7. Pet Shop Boys, "Love etc." (U.S. Dance #1, GER #12, U.K. #14)
D'luv says: "The best reinvention of the Pet Shop Boys sound the British duo have staged since Very."Moogaboo says: "Just when these old vampyres were starting to get boring (Battleship Potemkin? REALLY?) they inject a little frothy electro-pop back into their repertoire to make me love them again. Extra points for the trippy, Nintendo-esque video."
6. Girls Aloud, "The Loving Kind" (U.K. #10)
Moogaboo says: "I was taken aback when I read on another site that one of the members of Girls Aloud (Cipher #3?) shamelessly ripped their classiest ditty to filth over the summer, even going so far as to mock its chorus. And though I love 'The Loving Kind' for all of its sophisticated and bouncy heartbreak,that incident helped me make sense of the rest of their chintzy back catalog."D'luv says: "I wonder how she'll feel about the song when she's miming it solo at a Gay Pride in Wales three years from now and getting paid in chicken kebabs?"
5. Kelly Clarkson, "My Life Would Suck Without You" (U.S. #1, U.K. #1)
Moogaboo says: "Let's face it, Kelly lost all semblance of me caring when she did that crummy video with Reba. Okay, I actually loved that, but it doesn't stop her from coming in at #5 on this, our Worst of 2009 chart. Oh wait, this is the BEST? Whatever, same thing when it comes to Clarkson."D'luv says: "Isn't Moogaboo a good sport, folks? Memo to Kelly—next album: Sweden, Max Martin, Dr. Luke, period."
4. Saint Etienne, "Method Of Modern Love" (U.K. #56)
D'luv says: "Still as magical today as it was when the first short clip of it surfaced last December. That it didn't at least crack the U.K. Top 40 is one of the major pop crimes of this waning decade."Moogaboo says: "The dolls need to stay on the Overproduced Express and put out more stuff like this. Even though it was only a hit in my mind, and most of the "hardcore fans" (VOMIT) were over it, I think it's got a cast-iron hook, sterling synths and borrows one of the best woah-ohs of all time from the Carpenters. Carry on, Etiennes!"
3. Annie, "Anthonio"
D'luv says: "The haunting remorse of a one night stand perfectly filtered through a chugging three-minute electo-pop song—and our second Richard X-produced tune in a row on this list!"Moogaboo says: "Saint Annie made the greatest Flirts single that never was, and she didn't even have to get pawed by Bobby O to do it. Although, really, how great would that have been?"
2. Lily Allen, "The Fear" (U.K. #1, AUS #3, U.S. #80)
Moogaboo says: "Lily's finally realized obnoxious personality + good songs = obnoxious parts not so bad. 'The Fear' is both scathing and sympathetic, and a hell of a tune. Take note, Robbie Williams."D'luv says: "The first song of hers I didn't wanted to strangle her after hearing! 'I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds'—did Lily somehow read my college entrance essay?"
1. Lady Gaga, "Poker Face" (U.S. #1, U.K. #1, GER #1, AUS #1)
Moogaboo says: "Lady, you wrote one hell of a hook, stole another one from Boney M, and basically made it so every gay west of Beijing pees himself twice at the drop of one of your goofy-ass hats. Love you. And P.S., because of you, even Alicia Keys is into goofy-ass hats now. Thanks."D'luv says: "'Poker Face' proved to be the perfect recessionista anthem and the only good pop song to mention Russian Roulette this year."
ALSO SEE:
* The 10 Worst Singles Of 2009
* The Top 40 Pop Singles Of The '00s
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2008
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2007
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2006
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2005