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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Maybe Jordin Sparks' New Album Would Sell If She Chucked Her Purity Ring For A Thong?

While on one hand Jordin Sparks can celebrate the fact that her long-languishing single “Battlefield” has at last charged into the Top 10 of Billboard’s Hot 100 like a pissed-off hooker breaking into her pimp’s house and raiding all the loot from under the mattress, her full LP also dropped last week, and lands on the album chart at a disappointing #7, with only 48,000 copies sold.

But it’s not all despair for the ladies of pop. While Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed” slid down from #11 to #20 on last week’s Hot 100, this week the song claws its way back up to #17. Never let it be said that a shit Mimi single goes quietly into the night. There’s at least usually some howling, growling and a whole lot of butterfly-octave screeching going on.

Another groovy track making miniscule gains is Green Day’s “21 Guns,” which moves up one to #26. To be honest, “21 Guns” is basically “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams—Part 2,” but that’s not really a bad thing in my classy book.

And then we have the Ting Tings, who finally eke their way into the Top 40 with “That’s Not My Name” (at #39) after a full year of hanging around, bubbling under and bobbing up and down like Clive Davis at a frat party wearing Whitney’s wig.

Don’t call me Susan.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "I Gotta Feeling" - The Black Eyed Peas *5 weeks*
2. "Best I Ever Had" - Drake
3. "Knock You Down" - Keri Hilson feat. Kanye West & Ne-Yo
4. "You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
5. "Use Somebody" Kings Of Leon
6. "Fire Burning" - Sean Kingston
7. "Boom Boom Pow" - The Black Eyed Peas
8. "LoveGame”" - Lady Gaga
9. "Waking Up In Vegas" - Katy Perry
10. "Battlefield" - Jordin Sparks