Following last week's Worst Singles Of 2008 list, D'luv and MoogaBoo have teamed up once again to bring you Chart Rigger's fourth annual roundup of the year's best.But after sifting through to find the cream of the crop, we discovered we had a few tasty leftovers. Therefore, since it's the season of giving and we're feeling generous, below are the 10 best, plus the best of the rest!
10. Ne-Yo, "Closer" (U.K. #1, U.S. #7, AUS #8)
MoogaBoo says: "Ne-Yo could really do no wrong this year. Well, except for when he ran over that homeless hooker, backed up over her again, cranked the volume on the car stereo which was playing 'Closer,' then sped off with her wig still stuck to the exhaust pipe. That was wrong."D'luv says: "Mom?"
9. Coldplay, "Viva La Vida" (U.S. #1, U.K. #1, AUS #2)
D'luv says: "This decade's 'Everybody Wants To Rule The World.' No, really...!"MoogaBoo says: "I prefer the Almighty remake, as recorded by Cinnamon featuring Alisha King, but I can't fault the guy who wrote it. Bravo, Coldplay."
8. Cyndi Lauper, "Into The Nightlife" (U.S. Dance #1)
MoogaBoo says: "America, you mean to tell me you liked Old Gristle Arms' rotten candy more than this synth-y Cyndi anthem? Fuck off, I'm moving to Beliz."D'luv says: "I'd have actually given up beating off for a week for this to become a hit. I mean, thank God it didn't come to that, but, you know..."
7. Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown, "No Air" (U.S. #3, U.K. #3, AUS #1)
MoogaBoo says: "These two hambones really outdid themselves on a summery, feel-good duet. Even people under 40 liked it."D'luv says: "I still maintain that three-fourths of Jordin Sparks' album is an underappreciated masterpiece. Eh? Which songs in particular do I mean? Hell if I know what they're called."
6. David Archuleta, "Crush" (U.S. #2, CAN #7)
MoogaBoo says: "Until he turns 21, loses all prospects and is forced to star in the HOT Channel event Tasty's First Teaze, this will do."D'luv says: "Someday, when you're old enough, Archie, a big male stripper is gonna crush your head like a peanut between his thighs."
5. Katy Perry, "Hot N Cold" (U.S. #3, U.K. #4, AUS #4)
MoogaBoo says: "Yeah, she's annoying; also yeah, this song rocks and the video's a hoot."D'luv says: "This Max Martin/Dr. Luke jam is the closest thing to Hi-NRG to land in the U.S. Top 5 in years. Okay, not really, but I think I want that phrase on my gravestone."
4. Mariah Carey, "Touch My Body" (U.S. #1, U.K. #5)
D'luv says: "Now that Mariah's utterly insane, I'm just so proud of her."MoogaBoo says: "I love how shamelessly this goofball moos the word YooouTuuuube."
3. Kylie Minogue, "In My Arms" (GER #8, U.K. #10)
MoogaBoo says: "Calvin Harris' spiky production is as fuckable as he is. Oh, and Kylie's good, too. (Calvin, call me?)"D'luv says: "See, it's all about wearing the right jacket in the video."
2. Rihanna, "Take A Bow" (U.S. #1, U.K. #1, CAN #1)
D'luv says: "Yeah, yeah...you all expect 'Disturbia' to be on here. But this is the true test-of-time champion out of Rihanna's 37 singles this year."MoogaBoo says: "At once sassy and yet totally detached (but not as zombie-like as that sounds), Rihanna rode this mid-tempo jam straight to the center of my heart. Bonus points for sprinklers."
1. Chris Brown, "Forever" (U.S. #2, CAN #2, U.K. #4)
D'luv says: "Wrigley's tie-in? Who gives a shit. Undeniable from the first listen. And that's how good pop should be."MoogaBoo says: "When Chris Brown revealed the corporate adware behind his uplifting, state-of-the-dancefloor smash, I felt betrayed and raped. But in a good way. (Call me, Chris?)"
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HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Best Remix That Didn't Make Us Want To Hang The DJ: Alphabeat, "Boyfriend (Pete Hammond Mix)"
Best Diamond In A Sea Of Wank:
Santogold, "Lights Out"
Best Residuals Check In Vince Clarke's Pocket:
The Saturdays, "If This Is Love"
Best Excuse To Pretend You're Indie For Three Minutes, 49 Seconds:MGMT, "Electric Feel"
Best Single To End An Artist's Career On:
Annie, "I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me"
Best Follow-Up To A Subpar First Single Off An Album:
Britney Spears, "Circus"
Best Miley Cyrus-Adjacent Non-Miley Cyrus Jam:
Metro Station, "Shake It"
ALSO SEE:
* Chart Rigger's Best Singles Of 2007
* Chart Rigger's Best Singles Of 2006
* Chart Rigger's Best Singles Of 2005