M.I.A.'s Completely Massive Flop

Professor Green and Lily Allen's "Just Be Good To Green" makes me want to ram a pitchfork through my face, so naturally it debuted this week higher on the UK singles chart (#5) than Mark Ronson's far superior new jam "Bang Bang Bang" (#6).

But really, I'm just kind of glad for the fail of M.I.A.'s new album Maya. It flops into the UK album chart at #21, while her single "XXXO" tanks at #26. Sorry, baby—next time you feel like ripping countless other pop stars to shreds in the press, why don't you just stuff one of your tits in your mouth? Mmmmm—tastes like whore.

On to classier dames, Kylie Minogue's Aphrodite slips to #2 on the Brit album chart, while her single "All The Lovers" slides from #9 in its fifth week to #12.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams *1 week*
2. "We No Speak Americano" - Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP
3. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna
4. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry
5. "Just Be Good To Green" - Professor Green feat. Lily Allen *new*
6. "Bang Bang Bang" - Mark Ronson and The Business Intl *new*
7. "The Club Is Alive" - JLS
8. "Pack Up" - Eliza Doolittle
9. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull
10. "My First Kiss" - 3OH!3 feat. Ke$ha