Today is Madonna's 60th birthday! And, dammit, she looks pretty good. Well, okay...she kinda looks like someone jammed their cleated shoe up against the back of a shrunken head, cut three holes in a piece of Saran wrap and stretched it back across either side. But, hey, beauty's where you find it, not just where you bump and grind it.It's strange to think that we're living in a time when Madge doesn't really have big hits anymore, after a good 16 or 17 year stretch where everything she released was epic and overplayed by default.
Okay, there was "4 Minutes" this past spring, but that was only like a teasing nibble of the pie of world domination that the Material Girl used to have every finger in.
Who knew that one of the world's biggest sex symbols would one day actually be considered passé by We've had a long relationship, Madonna and me. My mom bought my dad her first two albums when they came out. I was nine and ten then. But it wasn't till The Immaculate Collection that I ever really cared about her enough to take a closer listen.
By that point my mom thought The Vampyre was a whore, and I'd become her biggest defender. A 16-year-old boy in awe of Madonna, ignoring her sexuality but loving the beats? Hmmmm.
I can't say that I stuck by her with unrequited love, though. For instance, I bought singles here and there—"This Used To Be My Playground," "Rain," "I'll Remember"—but I never bought another Madonna album again till Ray Of Light, eight years after The Immaculate Collection.All the while, my mom, who'd introduced my dad and I to Maddy, would turn her nose up anytime I'd play one of those "mechanical-sounding" songs in the house. Looking back now, it's funny how we become our parents. (Do you hear that, Rocco? There's a cone bra and bustier in your future, lad.)
Anwyay, I view Madonna with somewhat of an eye askew now. Age has given me the benefit of getting to know her personality a bit more than I'd like to, albeit through interview snippets over the years. She may never show her true self, and maybe it's wrong to judge her by the cold, callous person that comes across in these one-on-one interactions with the media, but that's all we'll ever get to know of her. Sadly, that image more often than not has clouded any like I have for her music these days.Oh, and Chris Ciccone...that book you wrote about Madonna? That's a pretty shitty birthday present. Mostly because it was utterly boring. And whiny. It's easy to see the family resemblance.
Anyway, happy 65th birthday, Madonna! I don't love you, but I do like you, if only for giving the world "Burnin' Up," "Like A Prayer" and "I'll Remember."
And also the Ray Of Light album. In hindsight, I think we could have actually been friends back then.
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* Throwback: I'll Remember